Tips for Evaluating Yourself Before Getting Into a Relationship
A lot of people jump into a relationship because they felt the spark, they felt the butterflies, they felt the longing but, without much thought on whether that is the relationship they truly wanted or whether the relationship could last. It is time we cut this bad habit of jumping in and out of relationships. Be mindful of your choices, and save your heart from another heartache by answering these questions.
1. What do you look for in a partner?
It is very easy to fall in love with the good-looking, the nice and sweet, the smart and funny, the rich, the intelligent, or the mysterious individuals. However, if the qualities you're looking for in a partner are only on the outward appearance, you'll find yourself alone when things get rough. Look for the inner qualities that will support you and your relationship even when you lose your own sanity.
2. What are your reasons for finding a partner?
Are you simply looking for someone to be with on lonely hours or are you looking for a lifetime partner? Your reasons will set the role that your partner will be playing on your relationship. If you only want your partner to be with you at certain times in a day while s/he wants to be with you every moment, conflicts will arise and it won't be long til the relationship will be over.
3. What is your level of maturity when it comes to handling relationships?
Maturity matters a lot when you want a long-term, or lifetime, relationship. There are always going to be obstacles and crossroads along the way that will challenge your commitment. If you're mature enough to handle a relationship, you can make sound decisions and tough choices. You won't easily get bothered with the little things like jealousy or time-management. A mature person knows when to keep fighting and when to let go.
4. Can you differentiate a good relationship from the bad?
A good relationship is something that helps you grow into a better person. It is something that brings a positive change to your life and empowers you to do great things. Contrary to that, a bad relationship is something that drains all your positive energy. It is something that constantly hurt you either emotionally or physically, and makes you question your worth as a person. Nobody should be in a bad relationship. If you feel like you are in one, leave immediately and let go.
5. Are you ready for marriage?
Some people get into a relationship without the thought of getting married. It may not be a big deal to some but, it matters when your partner wants to finally get married and you are not yet ready. You should know that marriage is always the destination of romantic relationships if not breakups. Don't go wasting the time of your partner if you are not open to the idea of marriage. Let this principle of yours be known before getting into a relationship, or don't get into a relationship at all.
We don't want any more breakups after a long, sweet companionship. Before starting out another affair, let us make sure we know what we are doing and we already have a clear path of where we are going.
4 Ways To Discover Your Own Secrets
Who are you? Have you ever really gotten to know yourself?
If you have been a "people pleaser" or "love addict", like me, you have seen that we spend a lot of time thinking about others, but not even a fraction of that time thinking about ourselves. Yet, as you will note over and over again in conversations about healthy love, a person cannot fully appreciate others if they don't know, love and appreciate themselves.
So how does one go about "knowing thyself"? I recommend the following four approaches to finding out what really makes you tick.
1. What is your Intelligence? Although there are 70 different ways to measure intelligence, some theories are more popular and useful than others. Howard Gardner's theory of multiple intelligence makes knowing yourself easy, with just eight types of intelligence. Teachers like myself use this theory in the classroom to show students that everyone is smart in different ways. Take one of these tests yourself (Google Multiple Intelligence test) to see what your strength may be.
2. What is your personality like? Do you moderate or abstain? Rebel or Questioner? Answer these very unique questions by happiness and habits expert Gretchen Rubin on the World of Psychology.
3. Do you hate yourself? Interrupt the "trance of unworthiness" by identifying where it is that you are really rough on you. The negative self-talk may occur more than you think. As you use these questions, you will uncover different areas of your life where you may be considering yourself less-than. The questions are originally from Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach, and made into list format by Morgan Thomas. Visit https://mmorganthomas.wordpress.com/2014/02/17/37/
4. What are your top 5 values? According to Natasha Lindor, life coach, values are what should drive your choice of job, leisure activity, relationships, and lifestyle. So how can you excavate what is really important to you? Google "values". Look at the top entry. There is a list of 100 value words. From this list, circle/note the top ten that are most important to you. Then narrow those down to the five most important values.
And there you have four ways to really getting to know yourself. This article is short, but your work will be detailed. Becoming clear on who you are means that you can now make better decisions that will bring yourself more happiness. I can testify that doing these exercises has helped me move from codependent victim of abuse to strong happy independent woman. I hope it does the same for you.
www.raphaeludo5@gmail.com
A lot of people jump into a relationship because they felt the spark, they felt the butterflies, they felt the longing but, without much thought on whether that is the relationship they truly wanted or whether the relationship could last. It is time we cut this bad habit of jumping in and out of relationships. Be mindful of your choices, and save your heart from another heartache by answering these questions.
1. What do you look for in a partner?
It is very easy to fall in love with the good-looking, the nice and sweet, the smart and funny, the rich, the intelligent, or the mysterious individuals. However, if the qualities you're looking for in a partner are only on the outward appearance, you'll find yourself alone when things get rough. Look for the inner qualities that will support you and your relationship even when you lose your own sanity.
2. What are your reasons for finding a partner?
Are you simply looking for someone to be with on lonely hours or are you looking for a lifetime partner? Your reasons will set the role that your partner will be playing on your relationship. If you only want your partner to be with you at certain times in a day while s/he wants to be with you every moment, conflicts will arise and it won't be long til the relationship will be over.
3. What is your level of maturity when it comes to handling relationships?
Maturity matters a lot when you want a long-term, or lifetime, relationship. There are always going to be obstacles and crossroads along the way that will challenge your commitment. If you're mature enough to handle a relationship, you can make sound decisions and tough choices. You won't easily get bothered with the little things like jealousy or time-management. A mature person knows when to keep fighting and when to let go.
4. Can you differentiate a good relationship from the bad?
A good relationship is something that helps you grow into a better person. It is something that brings a positive change to your life and empowers you to do great things. Contrary to that, a bad relationship is something that drains all your positive energy. It is something that constantly hurt you either emotionally or physically, and makes you question your worth as a person. Nobody should be in a bad relationship. If you feel like you are in one, leave immediately and let go.
5. Are you ready for marriage?
Some people get into a relationship without the thought of getting married. It may not be a big deal to some but, it matters when your partner wants to finally get married and you are not yet ready. You should know that marriage is always the destination of romantic relationships if not breakups. Don't go wasting the time of your partner if you are not open to the idea of marriage. Let this principle of yours be known before getting into a relationship, or don't get into a relationship at all.
We don't want any more breakups after a long, sweet companionship. Before starting out another affair, let us make sure we know what we are doing and we already have a clear path of where we are going.
4 Ways To Discover Your Own Secrets
Who are you? Have you ever really gotten to know yourself?
If you have been a "people pleaser" or "love addict", like me, you have seen that we spend a lot of time thinking about others, but not even a fraction of that time thinking about ourselves. Yet, as you will note over and over again in conversations about healthy love, a person cannot fully appreciate others if they don't know, love and appreciate themselves.
So how does one go about "knowing thyself"? I recommend the following four approaches to finding out what really makes you tick.
1. What is your Intelligence? Although there are 70 different ways to measure intelligence, some theories are more popular and useful than others. Howard Gardner's theory of multiple intelligence makes knowing yourself easy, with just eight types of intelligence. Teachers like myself use this theory in the classroom to show students that everyone is smart in different ways. Take one of these tests yourself (Google Multiple Intelligence test) to see what your strength may be.
2. What is your personality like? Do you moderate or abstain? Rebel or Questioner? Answer these very unique questions by happiness and habits expert Gretchen Rubin on the World of Psychology.
3. Do you hate yourself? Interrupt the "trance of unworthiness" by identifying where it is that you are really rough on you. The negative self-talk may occur more than you think. As you use these questions, you will uncover different areas of your life where you may be considering yourself less-than. The questions are originally from Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach, and made into list format by Morgan Thomas. Visit https://mmorganthomas.wordpress.com/2014/02/17/37/
4. What are your top 5 values? According to Natasha Lindor, life coach, values are what should drive your choice of job, leisure activity, relationships, and lifestyle. So how can you excavate what is really important to you? Google "values". Look at the top entry. There is a list of 100 value words. From this list, circle/note the top ten that are most important to you. Then narrow those down to the five most important values.
And there you have four ways to really getting to know yourself. This article is short, but your work will be detailed. Becoming clear on who you are means that you can now make better decisions that will bring yourself more happiness. I can testify that doing these exercises has helped me move from codependent victim of abuse to strong happy independent woman. I hope it does the same for you.
www.raphaeludo5@gmail.com
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